Weddings

Christian Marriage at St. George’s
Historically, people have come to the Church because they want the Christian faith and the community of faith to be a part of their coming together as husband and wife, and as a means of providing a spiritual foundation for their life together.   It is vital for persons planning to be married within the Church to understand that Christian marriage is a sacrament of our community of faith.  Therefore, we hold weddings only for active members of St. George’s.  

BECOMING A PART OF ST. GEORGE’S CHURCH
If you are not already a member of St. George’s Church, your first step is to begin to worship at St. George’s on Sundays.  Only after worshiping with us will you be able to make an informed decision about whether you would like to be a part of this Christian community.  If you are not “on the rolls” of St. George you may either choose to be baptized, transfer your membership from another Episcopal Church or attend the reaffirmation class and receive the laying on of hands by the Bishop.

After you are a member of St. George’s, and you want to inquire about wedding plans, you should schedule an initial meeting with one of the clergy.  The primary purpose of this meeting is for the clergy and the couple to become acquainted.  Only after this meeting has occurred, and with the consent of the clergy, can any plans be made about a proposed wedding date.

We ask for a six-month period of notice prior to the wedding date.  The canons of the Episcopal Church require at least thirty days notice and that at least one of the two persons to be married be baptized.

PRE-MARITAL PREPARATION
At St. George’s, the pre-marital preparation process has two components.  There will be a minimum of four sessions covering such topics as: the couple’s understanding of and role models for marriage, the spiritual nature of Christian marriage, and the inter-relationship of how the couple will live with money, intimacy and the sharing of power.  The order of service for the wedding is discussed at the fifth and final session with the clergy. In addition, St. George’s offers and requires a Marriage Preparation Workshop that is led by a professional therapist.  An alternative is a marriage preparation workshop offered by the Virginia Institute of Pastoral Care [link to www.vipcare.org].  You will need to schedule an appointment to meet with one of our wedding coordinators after the final session with the clergy.  Contact info may be obtained from the clergy.

MARRIAGE AFTER DIVORCE
If either person has been divorced, a wedding may take place in the Episcopal Church with the consent of the Bishop of Virginia.  One year must elapse after the final divorce decree before application is made to the Bishop; no public announcement of the date may be made or invitations sent until the Bishop’s permission is received.  A signed copy of the divorce decree(s) must be reviewed by the Clergy.  If either person has been divorced more than once, additional counseling with an approved, licensed counselor will be required.

SOME FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q.  What about the wedding service?
A.  Weddings at St. George’s are celebrated within the rich tradition of the Anglican Communion to which the Episcopal Church belongs.  The order of service for the Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage as contained in The Book of Common Prayer is our principal planning resource.  Weddings may be celebrated in the context of the Holy Eucharist, at which all persons present will be invited to participate.  The Eucharist (Holy Communion) is optional.

Q.  What is the best time for weddings?
A.  Weddings are usually held on Saturdays but may be scheduled at other times.  They are not held during Lent, Holy Week, Easter Week, in the last week of Advent, Christmas Eve, or on some holiday weekends.

Q.  May we have our reception in the church parish hall?
A.  Yes.  To arrange for this, you must talk directly with the Office Manager to see if the space is available for the times you need, including the times when you will decorate the room and clean up.  St. George’s is a smoke-free facility. Alcoholic Beverages: Wine or a wine punch (no open bar) may be served if they are clearly labeled and an equally attractive non-alcoholic alternative is provided.

Q.  When and what is the wedding rehearsal?
A.  The rehearsal is customarily scheduled between 5:00 and 6:30 p.m. on the night before the wedding and is used to review the mechanics involved in the wedding service itself.  It is a very important part of the wedding preparation; many questions will be answered regarding the formal procedures of the marriage ceremony.  The rehearsal is conducted by a member of the clergy and St. George’s Wedding Coordinator.  All members of the wedding party are expected to attend the rehearsal.  This should include the best man, groomsmen/ushers, the maid and/or matron of honor, bridesmaids, flower girl, ring bearer, readers of the lessons, parents, and anyone else who has a role in the service.  Everyone should be in the church 15 minutes prior to the rehearsal time.  The rehearsal will last about 1 hour.

Q.  When should we arrive at the church for the wedding?
A.  Normally the bridal room (Faulkner Hall) and the church are available two hours prior to the wedding.  You may dress in Faulkner Hall, which also has a self-contained restroom.  This may be used by the bride and her attendants.  However, the groom and his attendants must dress at home.  Be sure to designate a person to gather up immediately after the service any clothing or personal articles brought to the church by members of the wedding party.  The church is not responsible for any articles left in the rooms during or after the ceremony.

Q.  How do we arrange for flowers for our wedding?
A.  Please contact a local florist for set up of wedding flowers, insuring that the flowers are placed in liners that will fit our vases.  Our Parish Coordinator is happy to recommend a florist and may help you arrange for the flowers to be given for Sunday’s worship as a Thanksgiving offering.

Q.  May adornments (bows, etc.) be put on the pews or can we move the liturgical furniture at the front of the church?
A. Yes, if they are secured with ribbons or soft clips.  No wire or metal clips or anything that might mar the pews may be used.  Please make arrangements for any adornments to be removed after the wedding.  Liturgical furniture in the church may not be moved.

Q.  Is an aisle runner appropriate at St. George’s?
A.  No.  Aisle runners are serious safety hazards and may not be used.

Q.  What candles are used at St. George’s?
A.  We use the office light candelabra on the altar or Eucharistic candles.  A “unity” candle is not part of our liturgy.  

Q.  What about parking and accessibility?
A.  Street parking is limited to two hours.  The municipal lot at the foot of George Street on the river, two blocks from the church, is unlimited and open to the public.  The National Bank lot across Princess Anne Street is open to the public during non-banking hours.  Parking behind the Princess Anne Building is also available during non-business hours. We recommend that you secure from City Hall signs on which you note “No Parking - Wedding” and cite time from and to and post them in the early morning on the day of your wedding to reserve five spaces in front of the church on Princess Anne Street for the convenience of your wedding party and family. The city charges a modest fee for their use and is refundable upon their return to City Hall by you.  One handicapped space is provided by the city on Princess Anne directly in front of the church.  The accessible entrance to our elevator is via our George Street door directly around the corner from the handicapped space.

Q.  Does St. George’s have other special needs helps?
A.  A hearing-impaired system for individuals to adjust to personal needs is available.  Large print editions of the Prayer Book liturgy are available.

Q.  How do we arrange for music at our wedding?
A.  The couple should schedule a meeting with the parish Music Director for at least 6 weeks prior to the wedding date to work on the music for the wedding.  The only restriction upon music is that it must come from the rich repertoire of music suitable for the Church as determined by the Music Director.  The parish Music Director serves as organist for all weddings.  An outside organist may be used only with permission from the Music Director who will still be paid the customary fee whether or not he/she plays for the wedding.  This fee does not apply if Director of Music is unavailable. Arrangements for additional vocal or instrumental musicians must be made in consultation with the Music Director.  Payment to additional musicians should be arranged with those musicians.

Q.  Is there a suggested minimum age for a flower girl or ring bearer?
A.  In our experience, a mature five-year old child is quite capable of performing these duties.

Q.  What about photography at our wedding?
A.  Your wedding is a sacred and solemn event and the staff of St. George’s labor diligently to assure that the two people being married are prepared for that event and are not in any way distracted from its importance for their future life together.  To help in accomplishing that goal, you may use one professional photographer.  The following rules are to be strictly adhered to:

• Flash photographs of arriving guests, ushers, bridesmaids, bride and groom are acceptable prior to the service.  Flash photographs may be made of the wedding party at the beginning of the entrance procession and at the end of the retiring procession.
• No still photography of any kind, under any circumstances, is allowed during the course of the service.  Ushers are to instruct arriving guests with cameras of this rule to avoid the necessity of the Clergy having to stop the service to make such a request.
• Video taping of the services is permissible with a stationery camera in the balcony gallery using natural light only.
• No posed photographs may be made of the wedding party at the altar during the service.  The wedding party may assemble at the altar before or after the service for pictures.  Any photographs which include the Clergy are to be taken first.  The candles will remain lit for 15 minutes after the service has ended; all photographs to be taken must be completed in that time.  The front steps of the church and church yard are also available for photographs and posed groupings.
• It is the responsibility of the bride and groom to make clear these proper customs and rules to the photographer and all who are involved in the wedding.

Q.  May rice or birdseed be thrown as we leave the church?
A.  No.  Nothing may be thrown or scattered at the church.

Q.  How do we get a marriage license?
A.  The license is issued by the Clerk of the Court of the county or city in which either the bride or groom reside in Virginia.  If you both live outside Virginia, you may get the license at any courthouse in Virginia. A driver’s license is sufficient identification.  The fee must be paid in cash.  No blood tests are required and there is no waiting period.  The license is valid for 60 days.  When you have obtained the license, you should give it to a member of the Clergy at your next appointment or at the rehearsal.

Q.  May another clergy member officiate at our wedding?
A.  Other Clergy with whom you have a personal relationship may share in your celebration by assisting the St. George’s Clergy.  You should discuss this with the St. George’s Clergy at your first meeting.  Please do not contact assisting clergy until you have spoken with St. George’s Clergy.

Q.  May we have our wedding at another location?
A.  In certain circumstances, St. George’s Clergy may participate in weddings held in other locations, such as the home of either the bride or the groom.  Out-of-town weddings are generally not possible for the Clergy.  These matters must be discussed with the Clergy at the first meeting.

Q.  May we use an outside wedding consultant?
A.  Professional wedding consultants are not used.  A  Parish Wedding Coordinator will be available at the rehearsal and on the day of the wedding to assist.  The clergy and a Parish Wedding Coordinator direct the wedding and not a professional consultant.

Q.  What fees are expected by the church?
A.  The following fees apply.  All fees are payable to St. George’s Church and will be distributed to staff by our Parish Administrator.

Fees should be paid at least 2 weeks prior to the rehearsal.

General Wedding Fee:  $200

Acolyte/Crucifer (if needed): $25

Bulletins:
$75.00 first 100 copies, $20.00 each additional 100 copies

Candles:
Altar Candles: $15 (Communion at Wedding)
or
Seven-Branch Candelabra: $25 (No Communion)

Clergy:
There is no fee. It is customary that a donation be made to the clergy person’s Discretionary Fund. ($200+)

Custodian:
$50 for the wedding + an additional $100 if the reception is held in our building.

Parish Wedding Coordinator: $150

Music Director:
$200 for one consultation, rehearsal and wedding.  
$25 for each rehearsal time with additional musicians
$50 booking fee if the Music Director is asked to engage additional musicians – additional musicians should be paid directly.

Premarital Counseling:
Some fees ($55-$70) for resources used may be charged.  Please consult the clergy.

Reception in Sydnor Hall/Kitchen:   $200

Printable version of the Wedding Guidelines (PDF)

Wedding application (PDF)
Wedding checklist (PDF)